How to teach your child independence? A guide for parents

A child's independence is one of the most important skills that are worth developing from an early age. Learning independence affects the development of self-confidence, responsibility and the ability to make decisions. A child who can perform various activities on their own copes better at school and in everyday life. In this article, we present practical tips on how to support the development of a child's independence at different stages of their life.

1. Why is a child's independence important?

Supporting your child’s independence helps to:

• Building self-confidence and a sense of agency,
• Learning to cope with difficulties,
• Developing organizational skills,
• Developing decision-making skills.

2. How to support the development of a child's independence?

2.1. Give your child a choice

A child who has the ability to make decisions learns responsibility. It is worth letting them choose, for example, clothes for the day, snacks or games.

2.2. Set clear rules and consequences

Clear boundaries help children better understand the consequences of their actions. For example, if a child forgets to pack a backpack, it’s worth letting them deal with the consequences themselves, rather than having to do it for them at the last minute.

2.3. Encourage attempts and do not force corrections

It is important to allow your child to complete the task independently, even if they do it imprecisely at first. For example, tying your own shoes may be difficult at first, but it is worth giving your child time to learn.

3. Independence of preschool children

Children aged 3-6 are eager to learn new things, so this is the perfect time to develop their independence.

3.1. Independence of a 3-year-old child

• Getting dressed and taking off your shoes,
• Tidying up after yourself toys,
• Washing hands before eating,
• Help with simple housework, e.g. arranging cutlery.

3.2. Independence of a 6-year-old child

• Preparing simple meals, e.g. sandwiches,
• Packing your own backpack for kindergarten,
• Doing simple homework,
• Learning to organize your day – e.g. making a plan for the next day.

4. How to avoid mistakes in developing independence?

4.1. Don't do the child's job

Too much help can prevent a child from learning to cope on their own. It is worth letting them make an effort, even if it takes more time.

4.2. Avoid over-controlling

Too much control limits a child's sense of agency. It is worth giving them freedom of action and the ability to make their own decisions.

4.3. Praise for effort, not results

Instead of saying, “Well done, you did it perfectly!”, it’s better to say, “I can see you tried really hard.” This way, your child will focus on the learning process, not just the end result.

5. Summary

Learning independence is a process that requires patience and consistency. The development of a child's independence can be supported by giving them space to act, encouraging them to make decisions and avoiding taking over. Independence in preschool children, both 3-year-olds and 6-year-olds, can be developed gradually, adapting tasks to their abilities. Thanks to this, the child will gain self-confidence and will cope better in the future.